| If everyone at CTU listened to and did everything Jack bauer said, the show would be called 12. |
402 |
7.10 |
| When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back. |
614 |
6.88 |
| Terrorists dread the day in October that Daylight Savings Time ends. Jack Bauer gets 25 hours in which to kill them. |
216 |
6.83 |
| Jack Bauer once strangled a man with a cordless phone. |
196 |
6.77 |
| Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry. |
597 |
6.72 |
| Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men. |
561 |
6.70 |
| Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away. |
590 |
6.69 |
| Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. |
577 |
6.68 |
| Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. |
573 |
6.67 |
| Terrorists dread the day in October that Daylight Savings Time ends. Jack Bauer gets 25 hours in which to kill them. |
187 |
6.66 |
| If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef. |
545 |
6.65 |
| When Jack Bauer goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. |
590 |
6.63 |
| Jack Bauer would have gotten the ring to Mordor within 24 hours. |
162 |
6.62 |
| Chuck Norris told Jack Bauer that he only killed 15 people cause he ran out of bullets. Jack told him he only killed 93 people cause he ran out of people. Then Jack snapped Chuck Norris' neck into 24 pieces. |
600 |
6.60 |
| Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves. |
595 |
6.60 |
| Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead." |
531 |
6.59 |
| Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. |
612 |
6.56 |
| When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer. |
587 |
6.56 |
| In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life? |
574 |
6.54 |
| Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice. |
594 |
6.54 |
| Jack BAuer's calendar goes straight from March 31 to April 2. No-one fools Jack Bauer. |
188 |
6.52 |
| If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out. |
541 |
6.52 |
| Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it. |
594 |
6.51 |
| Jack Bauer once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. |
581 |
6.51 |
| GI Joe plays with a Jack Bauer action figure. |
619 |
6.51 |
| What goes up must come down. Except for Jack Bauer, if Jack Bauer wants to stay up, he can fucking stay up. |
215 |
6.50 |
| Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. |
396 |
6.50 |
| Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. |
571 |
6.49 |
| When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun. |
542 |
6.48 |
| Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed. |
386 |
6.47 |