| Chuck Norris really knocked king kong off the building since kingkong was making to much noise on top of chuck's condo. The so called bullets holes were the holes chuck used to rape it. |
36 |
3.75 |
| Chuck Norris really knocked king kong off the building since kingkong was making to much noise on top of chuck's condo. The so called bullets holes were the holes chuck used to rape it. |
38 |
3.87 |
| Chuck Norris once gave me a video tape of him having sex with my wife and subsequent birth. The kid he sired happened to be my father. |
74 |
4.00 |
| most of Walker, texas ranger is chuck norris's foot because he is always roundhouse kicking the camera man |
42 |
4.29 |
| Chuck Norris married Anna Nicole Smith, and she died. He then inherited 17 Million Dollars. He was not in her will. |
64 |
4.30 |
| When asked about Chuck Norris' opinion about the war in Iraq, Norris swiftly ran across the Atlantic and shat on the Middle East, hence Hiroshima 2. |
31 |
4.42 |
| Chuck Norris has more friends than Tom. |
36 |
4.61 |
| Chuck Norris died for Jesus's sins. |
49 |
4.65 |
| Chuck Norris has a toenail on the end of his penis. |
68 |
4.88 |
| Chuck Norris enjoys taking a joyride on his horse gunning down the nomads of Ethiopia with his ethnic cleasning rifle, shouting,"The only race is that of Chuck Norris'." |
63 |
4.94 |
| Chuck Norris travelled back in time to give birth to himself |
38 |
4.97 |
| After millions of people world wide have given up on smoking Chuck Norris is the only one to finish it. |
43 |
4.98 |
| A huge crater in Northern Arizona has been credited as the event that caused the extinction of the dinosaurs nearly 65 Million years ago. Scientists beleive that the crater was caused be a Chuck Norris Roundhouse kick sometime during the Cretaceous period. |
34 |
5.03 |
| When Chuck Norris walks through a door, he makes sure that it's locked just so he can roundhouse kick it down. |
49 |
5.10 |
| Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Marbles 'N' Gravel. |
88 |
5.10 |
| When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them. |
82 |
5.12 |
| Chuck Norris once attended Emeril Live as an honorary guest. When seasoning the lamb chops, Emeril Lagassi shouted his trademark “BAM!,” catching Chuck Norris off guard. Thinking the “BAM” was a gunshot, Chuck Norris backflipped onto the countertop, then roundhouse kicked Emeril and his lamb dish in self-defense. This resulted in Emeril’s second trademark phrase, “Kick it up a notch!” (Luckily, Emeril was wearing a triple thick bulletproof apron, allowing him to survive the kick and carry on his culinary legacy.) |
63 |
5.17 |
| Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth. |
80 |
5.21 |
| Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year. |
103 |
5.25 |
| Chuck Norris can grab some Afternoon Delight whenever the fuck he wants! |
38 |
5.26 |
| Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes. |
86 |
5.29 |
| Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. |
94 |
5.39 |
| When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies. |
89 |
5.40 |
| Chuck Norris sheds his foreskin once a year. The EPA uses the disgarded skin to cover holes in the O-Zone layer. |
67 |
5.48 |
| Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time". |
79 |
5.49 |
| Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone in the face so hard that the guy's face turned inside out and then came out his ass |
77 |
5.53 |
| Chuck Norris once unleashed a roundhouse kick so fierce that he kicked himself in the face. His anger initiated the Industrial Revolution. |
39 |
5.54 |
| Chuck Norris knows where the beef is. |
35 |
5.54 |
| Gorbachav and Ragen did not tear down the Berlin wall, it was roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris |
51 |
5.57 |
| Chuck Norris once decided to take a taxi from Brooklyn to Queens to see how people who can't instantly teleport get around. He hated it so much that he cursed all taxi drivers in New York City so that none of them could speak any English. |
47 |
5.57 |
| Chuck Norris once decided that his blood was slowing him down, so he poured it into containers that he made out of stone. He then scattered the containers around the Earth. We call them "volcanoes." |
50 |
5.58 |
| Chuck Norris walked into a bar and it said,"Ow." |
44 |
5.59 |
| Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face. |
96 |
5.59 |
| Charizard is still looking for a Chuck Norris card. |
38 |
5.71 |
| Chuck Norris once announced that he was giving up roundhouse kicking people's faces in for lent. He honored that vow for 14 miliseconds. |
43 |
5.72 |
| Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. |
83 |
5.75 |
| Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down! |
81 |
5.78 |
| Chuck Norris invented ballet. This gives him a method for selecting victims; those who dance get kicked. Twice. |
36 |
5.81 |
| Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. |
93 |
5.81 |
| When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. |
80 |
5.83 |
| Chuck Norris could have any woman he wants, but he has never had sex. He only masturbates because the only person good enough to have sex with Chuck is Chuck. |
82 |
5.87 |
| Chuck Noris Defied Gravity....Twice |
46 |
5.96 |
| The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade. |
82 |
5.96 |
| Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill. |
73 |
5.97 |
| Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds |
74 |
6.00 |
| The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off. |
85 |
6.01 |
| When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face. |
86 |
6.05 |
| There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue. |
77 |
6.06 |
| Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris. |
93 |
6.08 |
| Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal. |
93 |
6.09 |
| Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography. |
84 |
6.10 |
| Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red. |
90 |
6.11 |
| Chuck Norris killed Bambi's mother |
44 |
6.14 |
| The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. |
76 |
6.17 |
| A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words. |
70 |
6.17 |
| Chuck Norris can touch this. |
45 |
6.18 |
| Chuck norris trims his pubes with a chainsaw and still gets them smooth as an egg |
28 |
6.18 |
| Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. |
89 |
6.19 |
| Chuck Norris can solve a rubix cube with a roundhouse kick. |
70 |
6.20 |
| If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. |
72 |
6.22 |
| If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. |
80 |
6.22 |
| Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. |
80 |
6.24 |
| If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes. |
85 |
6.25 |
| Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair. |
86 |
6.27 |
| And on the eighth day, God created Chuck Norris and immediately recieved a roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody makes Chuck Norris wait. |
68 |
6.28 |
| You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you. |
89 |
6.28 |
| Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." |
92 |
6.28 |
| Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around |
80 |
6.29 |
| When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out. |
90 |
6.31 |
| Chuck Norris is number one on Jesus's Top 8. |
35 |
6.31 |
| Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way |
86 |
6.33 |
| There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on. |
82 |
6.33 |
| Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. |
81 |
6.33 |
| Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground. |
80 |
6.35 |
| When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. |
87 |
6.36 |
| In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized". |
73 |
6.37 |
| When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. |
84 |
6.38 |
| Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) |
89 |
6.39 |
| Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany. |
80 |
6.44 |
| The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. |
82 |
6.44 |
| Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris" |
93 |
6.44 |
| On April 30, 1945, Chuck Norris being only five years old, telepathicly sent a roundhouse kick to Berlin, Germany resulting in the "suicides" of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun. |
70 |
6.47 |
| Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. |
80 |
6.47 |
| Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. |
88 |
6.49 |
| Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. |
73 |
6.49 |
| If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. |
76 |
6.50 |
| Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body. |
80 |
6.50 |
| For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. |
71 |
6.51 |
| When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's. |
90 |
6.53 |
| When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris. |
81 |
6.56 |
| On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. |
77 |
6.56 |
| Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. |
98 |
6.56 |
| Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly. |
98 |
6.56 |
| Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain. |
78 |
6.58 |
| Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. |
88 |
6.58 |
| Chuck Norris is 25% Cherokee indian, it Has nothing to do with his origin, he just ate an indian. |
69 |
6.58 |
| Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. |
75 |
6.59 |
| A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. |
92 |
6.59 |
| Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face. |
84 |
6.60 |
| Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" |
80 |
6.60 |
| Chuck Norris doesnt pick his food up with his fork, his fork picks his food up for him. |
40 |
6.60 |
| When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600. |
83 |
6.60 |
| How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it. |
84 |
6.63 |
| Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will fuck you up. |
70 |
6.64 |
| Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down. |
75 |
6.65 |
| Chuck Norris invented ballet. This gives him a method for selecting victims; those who dance get kicked. Twice. |
32 |
6.66 |
| Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through. |
79 |
6.66 |
| Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. |
90 |
6.67 |
| Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. |
79 |
6.67 |
| Chuck Norris built the house he was born in. |
68 |
6.68 |
| Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. |
83 |
6.69 |
| Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. |
93 |
6.70 |
| When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'." |
75 |
6.72 |
| Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. |
87 |
6.72 |
| Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb. |
67 |
6.73 |
| It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. |
91 |
6.74 |
| Chuck Norris Can drown fish. |
38 |
6.74 |
| To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong. |
96 |
6.74 |
| Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. |
94 |
6.74 |
| In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. |
79 |
6.75 |
| Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego. |
95 |
6.76 |
| When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women. |
84 |
6.76 |
| Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. |
80 |
6.78 |
| An Asian man set the record for eating the most hotdogs in less than ten minutes. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris ate three Asians and ten seconds |
57 |
6.79 |
| In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. |
91 |
6.80 |
| Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear. |
73 |
6.81 |
| Chuck Norris created the Internet so that we could learn more about Chuck Norris. |
51 |
6.82 |
| Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. |
96 |
6.83 |
| When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. |
81 |
6.84 |
| In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris |
83 |
6.84 |
| The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage. |
83 |
6.86 |
| Chuck Norris won a game of Connect Four in three tries. |
61 |
6.87 |
| Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. |
86 |
6.88 |
| One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors. |
72 |
6.89 |
| While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium. |
90 |
6.90 |
| Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5. |
83 |
6.90 |
| Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. |
84 |
6.93 |
| Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. |
89 |
6.94 |
| Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
|
82 |
6.95 |
| When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever. |
84 |
6.95 |
| Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises. |
87 |
6.95 |
| Chuck Norris Masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. |
87 |
6.99 |
| Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice |
105 |
7.00 |
| Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. |
96 |
7.00 |
| Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter. |
85 |
7.00 |
| James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. |
92 |
7.00 |
| It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. |
75 |
7.07 |
| Chuck Norris has a Wrangler belt in karate. |
87 |
7.07 |
| Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris |
84 |
7.07 |
| Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. |
82 |
7.10 |
| Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday." |
79 |
7.10 |
| Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris. |
90 |
7.11 |
| Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. |
89 |
7.13 |
| If you look directly into the Sun, you could go blind. When Chuck Norris looks into the Sun, the Sun hides behind the Moon. We call it an Eclipse. |
50 |
7.14 |
| If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down |
67 |
7.15 |
| Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. |
67 |
7.16 |
| They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody. |
85 |
7.16 |
| Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order. |
82 |
7.17 |
| Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. |
81 |
7.17 |
| Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush. |
77 |
7.18 |
| Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. |
82 |
7.18 |
| President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day. |
97 |
7.19 |
| Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. |
99 |
7.21 |
| Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. |
75 |
7.24 |
| There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. |
73 |
7.25 |
| Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. |
100 |
7.25 |
| Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. |
84 |
7.27 |
| Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever the fuck he wants. |
83 |
7.28 |
| Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. |
71 |
7.30 |
| Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. |
72 |
7.31 |
| Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. |
97 |
7.31 |
| Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. |
73 |
7.32 |
| A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. |
88 |
7.34 |
| The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. |
88 |
7.35 |
| As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. |
85 |
7.35 |
| The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. |
84 |
7.36 |
| Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real. |
81 |
7.36 |
| Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. |
74 |
7.36 |
| Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. |
99 |
7.37 |
| A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. |
77 |
7.38 |
| Chuck Norris can divide by zero. |
84 |
7.38 |
| A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states. |
76 |
7.38 |
| Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris |
83 |
7.39 |
| Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. |
79 |
7.39 |
| Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. |
95 |
7.40 |
| When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. |
83 |
7.46 |
| When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. |
72 |
7.49 |
| Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. |
88 |
7.52 |
| When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. |
87 |
7.53 |
| Chuck Norris once misspelled a word. Rather than correct him, Webster changed the dictionary. |
64 |
7.53 |
| Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. |
85 |
7.58 |
| The spider that bit Peter Parker was originally bitten by Chuck Norris. |
64 |
7.59 |
| There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. |
81 |
7.60 |
| Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. |
87 |
7.63 |
| Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. |
92 |
7.74 |
| Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. |
98 |
7.85 |
| Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. |
89 |
7.85 |
| In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. |
81 |
7.90 |