| Tom will have tapeworms twice in his lifetime due to his hygiene issues. |
2 |
4.00 |
| Tom will be morbidly obese by age 36, but will never grow back hair. |
3 |
4.67 |
| Tom's favorite colors are actually pink and purple. |
3 |
5.33 |
| Tom will never teach transport, but will instead be forced to teach separations and process design. |
3 |
6.33 |
| Tom will be morbidly obese by age 36, but will never grow backhair. |
3 |
6.67 |
| In an alternate timeline, Tom finished his undergraduate education at Drexel and went on to become department head of chemical engineering at MIT and received a joint Nobel Prize for his discovery of cold fusion with Chad Reynolds. In this timeline, Tom never receives a nobel prize, mankind never discovers cold fusion, and Chad becomes a Burger King night manager. |
6 |
7.00 |
| The reason so many children die from starvation is because Tom is still in the closet. |
1 |
8.00 |
| Tom's secret fantasy is to have two men hit him repeatedly with shoes. Women's shoes. |
4 |
8.50 |
| There is a conspiracy to tell Tom his new shoes look like his old shoes, when in reality his new shoes are gay and everyone wants to ridicule him. |
4 |
9.25 |
| Tom's original last name was Douche, but his father changed it because he thought Tom was too much of a sissy to handle it. |
4 |
9.50 |
| The doctor that delivered Tom refused to ever deliver another baby, saying that he was through bringing failures into the world. |
4 |
9.75 |